Ready for Battle

Friday, 10/30

{My name, Tilly, means Ready for Battle}

Whenever I see my best friend, we always have the best time together and always write each other a letter upon our parting. One time she wrote me and said, you’ve lived up to your name. Some people go their whole lives without doing that, but you have. Today I was thinking about that. Because I had a really terrible class where we read and discussed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s ‘Kim Davis is Not a Patriot’. It was enraging. But as we sat there and talked about it, I didn’t say anything. I thought my head was going to explode as I sat there, just incredulous. It was a ridiculous article, and I sat there in a room of democratic, ignorant, classmates and professor, the one republican, Christian. Well I mean I didn’t take a poll about political standings. But from what I can tell all my classmates and professor are more on the left side of things. But as I sat there in that class and listened to this discussion about this piece of writing, I didn’t say anything. I was so upset that I was calm. I had so much to say that I couldn’t say anything. I had to distance myself, so that I didn’t blow up. I halfheartedly listened, and didn’t say anything. But as I left that class in a hurry as soon as we finished, I felt terrible. What a coward! To not even stand up for what I believe in and defend my viewpoint? Or even offer my viewpoint at all? And why? Was I afraid of being ridiculed or judged? Because of what, because of my beliefs? Why is that so terrible, what nine other people think about me? And is it even a bad thing? Isn’t it better to take a stand and possibly be criticized than to be a coward and not speak up at all?? Yes! I think it is. Doesn’t the Bible even say that blessed are the persecuted? And what I’m talking about isn’t even bad at all, what, people getting upset at me? That’s nothing. And if I don’t speak up, who will? No one else in that class seems to believe in the same things as I, so they won’t. And if I think it’s that bad, will it matter in a few years what some people in my college class thought of me?? And what do they think? Am I afraid to be associated with Jesus? No way! But my actions, or lack thereof, are they reflecting that? If Jesus died for me, I’m pretty sure the least I can do is defend His words in my classroom. But I didn’t. I was driving home, thinking, what a coward!! You can’t even stand up for what you believe in! Coward! You are terrible! And I was also talking to myself, trying to console myself. I reminded myself about when my best friend told me that I lived up to my name. But today, I definitely wasn’t living up to my name. I thought about, what does my name mean, what would I be living up to if I lived up to my name? My name means ready for battle. That is the complete opposite of cowardice! Ready for battle. Not sitting there getting more and more upset but not saying anything. Ready for battle. Yeah! I need to stand up for what I believe in, and if it’s a battle, great. And how honorable, to live up to your name. My best friend said I have. But I’m not so sure. But I want to. I’m ready to. I’m ready for battle. So next time we have a discussion like that? I’ll speak up. The next essay I write, it will be real, something I believe in. And if I could have chosen an easier topic and maybe got a better grade? Who cares! God’s not so concerned about your grades so much as if you stand up for Him. Right? Anyways, this may seem like rambling… but those are my thoughts today! I’m ready for battle.

———–

Wednesday, 11/4

Today I was working on my essay. I worked on it Monday too, and both days I’ve been so pleasantly surprised at how easily it’s been coming along. I’m writing a response to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s ‘Kim Davis Is Not a Patriot’. I’m analyzing his analogies and word choice. My next essay will be more in depth and probably expanding on this same essay. This one is only required to be three pages, but I easily have four and a half. I feel much better, so much better, now that I am standing for what I believe in. I have to give a presentation on my paper on Friday. I’m looking forward to it. I’m ready for battle.

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